I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
