drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
