Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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