I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
