i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
