and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
