how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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