i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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