You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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