Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
