We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
