i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
