I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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