The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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