You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
