just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
