I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize