oh god the rape fog is back!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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