3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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