A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this boner is exhausting
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
