and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
