nutella sex= disaster
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize