they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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