dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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