I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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