'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
