hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
