My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i drank out of a bidet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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