I faked an abortion last night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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