I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize