watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
