he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
