sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
