And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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