Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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