I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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