we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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