I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
