apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
