I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
