how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
