well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize