When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We got so high we made milksteak
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
