it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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