Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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