Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
