He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
