I'm pants shitting drunk right now
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
