At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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