my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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