If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
