I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
