Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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