so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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