loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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