I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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