stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
