He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You were trust falling into bushes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
