There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
