Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
