no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
