i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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