My friends, they love my intelligence
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
