I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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