I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize