Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
