We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
