im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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