I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
