So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
